Monday, 20 July 2009

The one I forgot to publish

Since dramatically decreasing my daily caffeine intake to just one at home per 24 hour period - due to the heavy impact of the recession - I have found myself unable to write a blog. Till now. This is a perfectly valid excuse, because the lack of caffeine in my system has meant that I spend most of my time asleep now. I sleep when I wake up, I sleep when I drive to work. I also sleep at work, but that's a given. I'm actually asleep now, although, unfortunately, I died yesterday due to not having my eyes on the road while driving but, instead, having them rolled round the back of my head. Being merely 23, it was a great shame. The country is currently in a deep state of mourning, the government have made a passing comment about getting everyone under the age of 25 tested for caffeine-deprevation and everyone's believed them, and rumour has it that, this Sunday, over 25% of the Top 40 single's chart will be made up of my greatest hits. Groovy.

Although currently in the unfortunate state of being dead AND asleep, I am actually sat in Wolverhampton Central Library. This experience truly is one of the highlights of my life. Up there with the time when I translated the Bible into 2400 languages. Now THAT was an all-nighter and a half. But, I digress. After careful analysis, consisting mainly of watching the man sitting opposite me for a long time, I can deduce that 50% of the people that use libraries today took a wrong turning as they were strolling through the 70's and found 2009. It's like an anti-Goodnight Sweetheart, except probably more interesting and funnier. Long, greasy hair, large Deidre Rashid glasses, light blue jacket and beige kecks. This man is definitely not from this decade, and he's the only other person here. Well, in this room. Well, in this small, insignificant corner of the decent-sized central library. But still.

In a somewhat related flashback, I just remembered that my nan, 77, turned to me last week, probably during Corrie, and said "Elena, you know the 70's? It was a very beige era." Right on.

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